Itch In My Brain

I should trust my instincts more often. I had my suspicions about this from the very beginning when I heard they found clumps of cut hair. That, and the buggy Prozac eyes she exhibits in every single picture they’ve shown on the news. How could anyone discount the runaway bride theory with those two clues?

Drain law enforcement resources, torture your family/friends, and get your fiancee accused of being a murderer. All because you can’t say “Sorry hun, this won’t work out”.

Throw this psycho in the klink, already.

Just watched The Abrams Report on MSNBC… they’re discussing Soctt Peterson’s new life on Death Row in San Quentin prison. Apparently he is in an “adjustment center” where new inmates are evaluated before they’re released into the general prison population.

According to the SQ warden, they’re ready to pair Peterson up with a cellmate, a fellow murderer. Get ready for the inmate’s nickname, I shit you not:

THE SAUSAGE KING!

Abrams acdtually stumbled a bit and explained that the inmate is named that way because he sold sausages for a living. I can’t help but laugh.

First thing that pops into my mind is Ferris Bueller’s alter ego… Abe Vroman, the “sausage king of Chicago”!

Then I remembered that we’re talking about a prison here. I wonder if Scott is a little nervous about being stuck in a cell with a guy called the Ssusage King.

Can you imagine?

“Hey Scott, we think we finally found you a cellmate…”
“Oh great! Who? Charles Manson?”
“Nope… The Sausage King!”

Hopefully there’s a bit more to it than the murderer’s former career. If anyone deserves a nice long prison rape, it’s Peterson.

Girl tries to sing national anthem at hockey game.

Girl screws up lyrics and walks off-rink, booed and embarrassed.

Girls gets her nerve back and walks back on the ice to try again.

Girl slips and falls flat on her stupid ass.

Full story with link to video goodness…

Norton Internet Security AntiSpyware Edition is out! Don’t you just get a chill of excitement? Or, as this reviewer on Betanews aptly summed it up:
“I’m still holding out for Norton Internet Security Actually F—-ng Works Edition, Norton Internet Security Support Isn’t Outsourced Edition, Norton Internet Security Doesn’t Rape Your PC Edition, or Norton Internet Security We Don’t Cater to Idiots Edition.”

Oh would I wouldn’t give to see a video clip of this moment:

Apparently angered by a criticism of the book from fellow guest and journalist Martin Monestier, Depardieu launched into a vicious verbal attack, repeatedly calling Monestier “un abruti” (a prat). Monestier responded with good humour, saying, “You’re quite right, it’s good to get things off your chest. You can even use some other words if you like.” Unfortunately, Depardieu was only too happy to take him up on the offer, adding that he was also a “tete de lard” (dickhead) just a few moments later.

Despite attempts by Michel Field, the show’s visibly embarrassed presenter, to restore some order, Depardieu continued to slur his way through an incoherent verbal attack on critics. “I don’t like critics. I like critics when they are right. When they are positive … Or even negative …”

At this point, as if noticing for the first time the presence of fellow guest Mazarine Pingeot, daughter of the former French president Francois Mitterrand, he proceeded to exclaim loudly, “Hello beautiful! I didn’t see you there!” before extravagantly planting a kiss on her cheek.

Hilarious play-by-play of the new Burger King commercial with (not kidding) Hootie. The picture of the Burger King is priceless and deserves a place on everyone’s desktop wallpaper.

(Is it just me, or does the new Burger King with his creepy, frozen-expression mask look like a reject from a slasher movie?)

Here’s a collection of real clips featuring Steve Ballmer, the #2 guy at Microsoft.

I guess the old snarky saying is right. The rich really are different.